Had Enough

This is the blog I wrote last night while my girlfriend told me about the other girl!

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Wednesday, March 25, 2009
10:23:46 PM

Had Enough of Them All...Seriously Upset!!!

What the fuck is all I have to say right now? Did I just hear my girlfriend correctly? Did she just say that she was on the damn chat line, and not only that but she met some bitch on there from California? I really can't believe this shit. You just don't know how fucking mad I am at this moment. I just got to talk to her since I've been at my aunt's house and she tells me some crap like this. I mean I love the fact that she tells me everythings that happens in her life, but I think this one takes the cake. Like I don't care if my girl meets new people and make friends with them, but when they decide to cross me I have a problem with that. I was trying so fucking hard not to start cursing at her and control my attitude, because I know that she hates when I do that and I really don't need her to get a attitude with me. I didn't want to cause problems between us when my anger was really directed to the bitch that call herself MY GIRL'S friend. And thing is Keda said that the girl know about me and know that I'm wearing the ring but the bitch still call herself catching feelings for my husband. Now when I heard this you can just imagine what was going through my mind when she said the girl wanted her and she was catching feelings. I mean she knows about me, but she still calls herself liking her. To me that means that the bitch don't care if Keda got a girl....fuck a girl, she got a fucking wife!!! She told me that they when they met she was lonely and didn't have anyone to talk to. Hell I know I'm not always around and she can always talk to me when she want to, but damn. Do you not know how that makes me feel, I felt like I didn't mean much of anything. That was the major issue I was dealing with besides knowing that some girl is disrespecting the way she is. I mean she thinks that when she lonely she can go meet other bitches, innocent or not that shit ain't cool with me. If I did it that shit as innocent as it would have been, she would have had a fucking stroke. Let one of my friends start to like me and I tell her, she ready to fight. I drop them in an instant, but she really needed to ask me what she should do. YOU NEED TO LET THE BITCH GO!!!! I love my baby, but this is insane. Something in me told me that something wasn't right when the girl called while I was with her, but I was so happy to be with her that I pushed it off. I don't like that fact that they talk and texting each other while I'm at school. It pisses me off to think that this girl is trying to take my place in my girls life while I'm not able to be there for her. It ain't no telling how long this girl has been in the picture. If all the doing is texting and talking rarely, how the fuck did she fall that damn quick? This shit ain't adding up to me, its not possible. I don't know what is going on with this. I just know ain't no bitch coming between me and my girl and what we planned for OUR future. It'll be a cold day in hell if some bitch from Cali, or anywhere for that matter, take my place. I wear the ring and ain't no other female getting mine. I'd hurt any girl that think other wise too. This girl got another thing coming if she think she gone get my baby. I told my baby I wouldn't dwell on this, but it still pisses me off to know that other girl are always crossing the line. She is the second one and I'm getting tired of this shit real talk. If she doesn't drop those two bitches (and she knows the ones I'm talking about) I don't know what going to happen to us. I just can't take this crapany more. I've had all kinds of patience towards her friends but this is insane. I'm done with trying to keep my cool about this, but she'll either have to pick them or me, not both.Yea I know I'm the only one she will ever want, but I need them gone or ELSE!!!

The One and ONLY Lady Xstacy!!!

Somethings Gotta Give

This was written this morning when we had to sit in 1st period for 4 hours. This was how I felt this morning before reading my baby's blog. The one from last night will be uploaded later on today. Here you go!

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I've slept on my issue and now I'm sleepy. I'm calmer than I was yesterday but I'm still very upset. Like really, how would you feel if your girl told you that she met another girl on the chatline and now the bitch is growing feelings for her? You would not be a happy camper about that at all. I love my girl so much but she made me so fucking mad last night it was ridiculous. Like I wasn't mad that some girl wants her, hell a lot of girls do, but it's the fact that she was on a chatline "looking for a friend". Do you not realize how that sounds when our relationship was started on a website called Myspace? Do you not realize that we basically met for a sexual reason on that same website? So can you see what my first thoughts may been to what she told meI can't bear to think of my girl having any other girl besides myself. She is mine and I love her dearly but this girl is pushing my buttons. This means to me that she doesn't care if I'm with her or not, she wants my girl and may not give up her hopeless dream og having her to herself. This girl must think that she can have her without me knowing, she must be crazy. I knew my girl was joining different websites but I never thought that it would come to this. I never thought she would go on them to "meet other people". And not only that but give those hoes her number so they could talk more privately. This is really killing me inside. It hurts so much to know my girl is looking for other people to take up the time that I can't give her. The question that plays over and over in the mind is what could she have been talking to this bitch about that's got her catching feelings like that? What in the hell could have been said that would do this to me? Could she be talking to her the way she talks to me, the way that always makes me hot and causes me to cross my legs together? What could it be?!?! I'm stressing myself out trying to to think through this. I can't take this right now, it hurts too bad. I just need her to either let this bitch go or let me go, because this is not going to work for me if she keeps her around. I don't want to lose my baby because of anyone or anything. Somethings gotta give!!!!

Forever Me,

Lady Xstacy!

Thnks So Much!!!

Yesterday I called my baby, but her nephew was not acting like the good little baby he always is. He was fussing and crying so much, me and my baby had to get off the phone so she could put him to sleep. I knew that I killed her to hang up the phone since it had been a while since we had last talked...I could feel it myself. I hated to way she sounds whenever I have to leave her. It kills me so much to know that I have caused her a moment of sadness that we both could have avoided. I love her so much and she means the world to me. There is no one in my life that will ever hold my heart the way she does. I guess I'll try to call her tonight, hopefully Navin will either be asleep or with his granny because I really want to talk to my baby daddy. I really miss her!!!!!!!!!

2 Trusted Friends....HA!!!

Back to life as I know it. I miss my baby so much. I really wish that I had have stayed at home then she could have spent the whole day with me like we sometimes do (wink wink). I think that this blog is going to be focusing on those people she calls her friends. I mean I love my baby and if they make her happy....the times that they do make her happy....then I'm okay with them, as far as she knows. Well, really she knows that I have a problem with them and that they get on my ever lasting nerve. I mean really, I've only meant one of her friends personally but all of them still get on my nerves. Let's start with Nitta, she is the worst I think of them all. Now I can honestly say that she has her good days, but thats no very often. She is selfish, a brat, self-centered, she thinks the world revolves around her, and thinks that my baby is going to continue to run behind her when she in the wrong. I THINK NOT BOOH BOOH!! You are a grown ass woman and you not finna have nobody else trying to take care of your ass. Nitta is impossible for me to like because of how she is towards my girl. I feel like Nitta does nothing but use her. Keda is trying to get her life on track for not only herself but for OUR family also, but it was like she (Nitta) didn't want to see my baby go forward with her life. She tried to "get her life together also", only the try to drag my booh down with her when she kept getting in trouble with the teachers. And now recently, she starts shit at the club that my baby is at, all because her boyfriend was at a gay club. Keda is very protective of her friends and especially me, but I'm sorry if it was me and the fact that I know how she is, Nitta would've been on her own. The next on my list is Rico, you know what he is much worse than Nitta. He is the gayest, most self-centered person I've ever not met in my life. I remember at one point of time how I use to be jealous of him, only because he was with my baby more times than I'd ever called her, hell!! He was always spending the nigt with her and just always around, but now he just shows up when he feels like he can. I believe he causes the most problems for my baby. He always wants her to take him to see one of his boy toys or something like that, like my girl is a damn taxi. SHE IS NOT MATA!!!!! He is the oldest of the three of them but he still acts as if he's a child. Rico (I'm sorry to say this) is holding her back and is sometimes keeping her from being the focused, smart girl she is trying to be. He trys to get her to smoke when he knows that she is trying to stop, and he is the one that causes my baby the most stress in her life today. Now I know my baby is far from being a perfect person, but at least she is doing something with her life. I know that her only flaw is that she can't say no, no matter how much she may deny that. I try to use my baby all the time, and the thing is she knows it but can never get away from them no matter how hard she trys. She dropped a lot of her friends when we became more serious in our relationship, but why not these two? Why do they get to stay around while the others fell by the waist side? I guess because they were there long before I got here, and they'll be here long after I'm dead and gone. I just can't wait until we move away from here and can have each other to ourselves. When we won't have to worry about those two friends of her's.......unless they move with us.....dun dun dunnnnnnnnn!!!!!!

Just Some Random

Today has been a very good day to me. Of course there are some haters out there that loves getting on my case, cause what I'ma lovely fine ass LESBIAN!!!! Some girls just don't seem to get it. I love girls. I love the touches, the smell, I love everything about being with a girl. It's just something about a girl with long sexy black hair with eyes the color of honey that drives me insane. My baby, she's got it all. Soft skin, beautiful eyes, a sexy smile, and......a magic tongue. What more could I ask for. My baby has a swag like no other. No other girl will ever take my baby's place (Toyia especially). Some girl will just bitch and complain that there man ain't hitting it right or ain't doing what they need for them to do. All I got to say is "GET A GIRLFRIEND OR SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!" Why in the world would you complain but stay with his ass, gosh! I'm just really really hyper right now. I don't know what to say right now. Back to my baby girl! She loves me for me and loves taking care of me. She is sweet and loves to please my body. She has the best sex talk EVER! I had a dream about her last night, gosh it was so great. I want her so bad, I want that dream to call true. I miss her like crazy. I I'm really horny I think. Why am I just talking about random stuff. I miss my baby's skin againt mine. She is so freaking soft against me, and when she kisses me it's so wonderful. I think I should just stop where I am right now before I say something to much. Bye for now! KISSES KISSES!!!

~LADY X~

Her Girl

My girl is the best girlfriend in the whole world. The comment she left me on my blogger was sweet and it made me smile. I'm so lucky to have someone as caring as her in my life, someone that loves me as much as I love them. She mean the world to me and I could'nt have asked for a better hubby in the whole wide world. I did talk to her last night. I took a chance and I called her on her mother's phone, we talked for over an hour, tho I felt like it wasn't enough. I miss her so much, but I'm so glad that after this I can be with her and be her wife. She put that ring on my finger I become her's and I'll always be her girl. Always and forever more, Mrs. Smith- Smith!!!

Good Girl Gone Bad

I guess my mother is really mad at me. She knows I've been calling my girl, that's why I've been trying so bad not to call her as much. My mother has the phone company email her a full call log and she looks for her number. I'm going to tell my girl that I want her to change her cell phone number so I can call her. I miss her so much that I've been depressed and not wanting to do anything. I think about her all the time. I'm glad I did get to spend that time with her Friday. Glad I could have her make love to me before I had to suffer this. Though I believe I was the cause of this when I told my mother that I was going out with some friends. I think that was what made her check up on the calls. Man, what I wouldn't give to be in my baby's strong arms while she held me so close to her that we became one. I wish I didn't have to make her suffer with me. What kind of girlfriend am I that I can never see her or talk to her, or even be with her without causing some issue. I love her so much and I want so much for her. I want her to be happy and it sometimes seems like I can't give her that true happiness she wants and needs. I'm so much of a little girl that I can't run my own life and make my own choices without getting in trouble. I don't know what to think. I want to be with my girl I KNOW that, but I hate being the one that causes her pain, or even letting my mother be the one to do that. She needs me, but I can't be with my baby. I want everything to be okay between us. Maybe I should just try to be good, not get in trouble and that way mama won't get on me so bad, and then when I leave her house and go to college I can do what I want and be with her when I want. Yeah, I think that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to be a good girl at home, and when I move out.....I'LL BE MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!