Good Girl Gone Bad

I guess my mother is really mad at me. She knows I've been calling my girl, that's why I've been trying so bad not to call her as much. My mother has the phone company email her a full call log and she looks for her number. I'm going to tell my girl that I want her to change her cell phone number so I can call her. I miss her so much that I've been depressed and not wanting to do anything. I think about her all the time. I'm glad I did get to spend that time with her Friday. Glad I could have her make love to me before I had to suffer this. Though I believe I was the cause of this when I told my mother that I was going out with some friends. I think that was what made her check up on the calls. Man, what I wouldn't give to be in my baby's strong arms while she held me so close to her that we became one. I wish I didn't have to make her suffer with me. What kind of girlfriend am I that I can never see her or talk to her, or even be with her without causing some issue. I love her so much and I want so much for her. I want her to be happy and it sometimes seems like I can't give her that true happiness she wants and needs. I'm so much of a little girl that I can't run my own life and make my own choices without getting in trouble. I don't know what to think. I want to be with my girl I KNOW that, but I hate being the one that causes her pain, or even letting my mother be the one to do that. She needs me, but I can't be with my baby. I want everything to be okay between us. Maybe I should just try to be good, not get in trouble and that way mama won't get on me so bad, and then when I leave her house and go to college I can do what I want and be with her when I want. Yeah, I think that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to be a good girl at home, and when I move out.....I'LL BE MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!