For Da Ladies!!

Ladies, ladies, ladies! We have got to do better. Why must we make these names for ourselves?... Now I know what you thinking, "Don't be hard on us like you were hard on the guys the first time....you damn skippy I was hard on them. They needed that if anybody did, but now it is time for me to get on your case girls. Now we should all know how to act. I know you're mother's taught you something as you were growing up. So why do we still do the same shit that they taught us against? Why must we go out and decide to act a damn fool if we see our man(or in few cases our woman) out with someone else? Are you that desperate that you got to make a public scene in front of everyone? What does that prove? I can tell you that....NOTHING!!! It just shows that you don't know how to keep your partner with you and only you....other words you not handling your business. And I know you remember your mother telling you to act like you get sense around white folks and anybody for that matter. So why do you public show that you are ignorant in front of everybody by thinking that if you make the biggest scene you are proving yourself being "gutta", "hard", or even a "bad bitch". I'm here to tell you right now that doesn't do anything but make you look even worst. Also ladies why is it that when you catch your man/woman cheating you go straight for the other like it was her fault. I see this with my friends all the time. The girls end up fighting each other while the man goes on an ego trip because he got two females going crazy over him. Why is this? Ladies, I'm sorry but if mines was to ever do something like that, I'm cutting HER. Yeah I know I'll be mad at the other girl but there is no need for me to go crazy on her when she is not the true criminal. I just find that so dumb when girls fight over a nigga that really doesn't give a shit about you if he get another girl in public, showing her off....think about it ladies! That must mean he rather be out clubbing with her than to be stuck in the house with your ass! Ladies I love you all to much to let this behavior go unnoticed. We have to do better about ourselves. Girls we have got to think about these things before before we react. I'd rather that you act cool about the bullshit if you catch him in public and then when you get home you can put all his shit and the doorstep. Don't let everyone know that you got problems at home. Act like a lady with common sense, please. Another thing the I see us women do that bothers me to the core. I can't stand to go to a store or a place of business and see a woman dressed all kinds of ways. I mean I don't expect for you to look like you just walked out of a magazine where ever you go, but I mean don't come out the house with your house shoes and holey shirts. And another thing is if you wear a certain size get that size. I hate to see women come out the house in pants that is way too tight and and fitted shirt 3 times too small to match. Sorry to tell you this but that ain't sexy booh booh. Dress like a lady if anything...to all my studs and tomboys, I'm not asking you all to dress outside of your comfort zone, but you all need to keep yourselves up just as bad as us girly girls. I hate to see these girls out here that want to be niggas so much that they loss sight of the beauty a woman holds. Grillz, chains, huge earrings, and enormous belt buckles don't make you more attractive, it only shines the light on how foolish you like. So let me wrap this up by saying ladies it has taking us too long to get the rights to be whatever we want to be, so embrace that power that we have and do better for yourself, your kids, and your future. In Love and In Truth!!!!

Dnt Hate Me B/c of Ur Self-Esteem

Why do these girls out here think that if somebody isn't like them they got to fight? If they feel intimidated by the other girl they got to fight her? I just don't get it....Listen today I was walking with my friends minding my own damn business when this girl (fat, dark, and ugly) comes up to my friend walking in front of me and asks him, "Where is that gay girl you always with? So I can talk shit about her." WHAT THE FUCC?!?! I didn't even know this girl. When he told her that I was behind her and that I heard her...well lets just say that she felt stupid as hell. Then this girl had the nerve to say, "I bet she won't jump." Baby lost her damn mind! I'm not the type to fight but I don't like being tempted. But being the person I am, I let it go. I mean seriously, she's is a ninth grader (a 3 time ninth grader at that). I'm too old to be worried about some dumbb little kid, and what she thinks about me. So like I said I let it go, even when her and her friends would pass me and try to make jokes, I let it go...not worth my time. My only concern is getting out of this school, and doing what I get to do to provide for me. I ain't thinking about no females who think if they fight somebody that the they shit. Booh you are not my main concern okay.

This Pain Is So Real

If anything in my life could be changed it would have to be the death of my brother. He was the only person I felt I could go to when I needed to. He was my strength and my comforter. He did cause he great pain from time to time, but he was my brother. He watched after me even when I thought I was too damn grown for that. I remember growing up until I was about 14 years old, everyone on our block knew me as Andre's Lil Sista. I was the most protected person anywhere we lived. No matter where we were I was always Andre's Lil Sista. I remembered how I came to find out that my brother was no longer with us. I was at school and one of the ladies from the office came to get me out of class because I was about to check-out. I thought, "Yes, my mama is here to get me." I was so happy to be leaving there. It was when I found out that it wasn't my mother in the office that I knew something was wrong. She'd never let anyone come get me from school, especially a co-worker. The whole ride to her job my mind was racing. I thought so many things that five minutes, but the thing was I thought all types of bad things happened to my mother, not my brother. I guess that's the first thing anybody would think of, maybe because people think that a person who had just turned 20 not a full month ago would not be leaving this world so soon. I didn't know what will about to happen and it only got worst as I walked into my mother's office only to be quickly embraced by my aunt and uncle who don't even work anywhere close to my mother's job. I couldn't do anything to stop the tears from rolling down my face even though I didn't know what had happened. After I saw my mother was in her boss' office crying, I was confused. What happened? She's okay, so what's going on?...are some of the questions that went through my head. After they told me that my brother had been killed about a week ago (Dec. 9Th) and they were just telling us (Dec. 16Th) because they couldn't find out who his family was. I couldn't cry anymore, my face was stone. The rest of the day was a blur to me, I only remember going home and going straight to sleep. The next day I went to school not wanting to be around my depressed family members. My mother talked to my principal and told him, and I never would have thought that the man who had (almost) every child in that school shaking in fear from his voice, had a heart and was compassionate with me. He let me sit in his office until I was ready to go to class and told all my teachers what happened for me. I can honestly say that I am thankful for him. The rest of the day came and went, I went so bad to take my anger out on all those people who thought they understood how I felt. Not one of them had lost someone they were as close to as I was with my brother. After that I missed several days up until the funeral, I couldn't take being around all those fake people at MASE. I had to be strong for my family that whole time and I became stressed and sick. I was making myself sick slowly everyday. Now , 3 years later, I'm finally getting a chance to be able to let go completely. I've cried a few nights, just because, and I've isolated myself anyone I feel like it. I've isolated myself at school and I don't care what any of my friends think about my new attitude. It's my choice what I want to. The only people I have ever been able to talk to is my ex Brandon, because he was there with me when it all happened and he helped me through it. He helped me keep my head on straight and looked now for me. Even now in December, he makes sure that I'm feeling okay and that I haven't been stressing myself. But now I have my baby Kesha. Keda is the only person that I know that should gone through the same thing I have. She lost someone even closer than my brother, her father. I love her so much more everyday because she let's me know that I don't have to hide how I feel to keep her happy and not bring her down. She let's me know everyday that I'm stronger than I think I am. I love her so much for that. She has made my life worth living because I know that I'll have her forever and ever.

The different languages of my love!!!

私は彼女の精神および彼女の微笑を愛する.....la amo para su alma y su sonrisa--- I love her for her spirit and smile.

私が彼女の世界の最も美しい事接吻する時。.....cuando beso su su la cosa más hermosa del mundo--- When I kiss her its the most beautiful thing in the world.

彼女はちょうどIが彼女の物を所有するように私の中心を所有する....ella posee mi corazón apenas como I posee el suyo--- She owns my heart just like I own hers.

私の生命は彼女および私達の未来の子供のためにだけ住まれている....Mi vida se vive solamente para ella y nuestros niños futuros--- My life is only lived for her and our future children.

For My MEN!!!

People ask me why do I prefer to make love to a woman than be touched by a man? I get the whole "you just didn't have a good d*** in you" or "Oh you just need to give me a chance then". LIKE HELL I WILL!!!! I keep stand these guys who think their ity bity d***s are the shit. News flash booh: IT AINT!! Where do these guys get that shit from? Maybe these other type females thinks it the best thing since relaxers and pressing combs but it ain't worth shit to me. I'm in need of much more then that. I want compassion and sincerity in a person, not to mention worth while sex. I can't believe these niggas out here think that their sex can keep a woman loving him and putting up with his shit. Well he need to go find him one of these low self-esteem type bitches, cause I ain't one of them. It hard enough finding a good man, but now all these posers out here got women thinking they're good when underneath it all they don't account for anything but a deadbeat father in the end. Now don't get me wrong there are some wonderful men out there taking more care of they kids than the damn mother, but the bad ones over shadow the good. Now I'm not one of those mad black (lesbian) woman who hate men. Hell I love men, but what I hate is boys posing as men. If you're not, you're not baby. Men (bad men) don't you see why us women are "going gay" in record numbers...its because you can't handle your damn business. If ya'll were half of what ya'll thought ya'll were, these women would not have to worry about you cheating of if you're going to take care of YOUR kids. If you just take time to look at yourself, you would see that you are part of the problem. I love women and I hate to see them hurt, especially by a man. I've been hurt by men myself, that shit don't feel good. Raise your children men, don't make a good man or even woman have to raise them for you. There are so many young girls out here having babies thinking that will keep they're man, teach them right please. Teach these boys out here how to keep their d*** in their pants and they're heads in these books. Don't just get on the girl for getting pregnant, it takes two people to make a baby. Remember that!!! Well that's it for now.

In Love and In Truth!!!

Resentment

Relationships are the hardest thing to maintain. You wanna be a good girlfriend and things all of a sudden want to go wrong. You try to be faithful but things are pushed in your face that tempts you so much. You really cheat on the one person you love more than anything. A girl walks by that would have never given you a chance all of a sudden wants to be in your face flirting. Can you really resist her? You've studied every inch of your frame and figure, and trust its a beautiful thing. Her smile is amazing, you image touching her skin, or even just staring into her eyes as long as you can. Can you really resist all she is offering to you? You don't know what to think. You are confused beyond belief. Could you really risk the future you and your girl planned out? Would she leave you when it all came out? Would you look at her the same way after you had your little affair? Those are only a few of the questions that you can't help but think about while you're daydreaming on what you could lost and/or gain? You can't think of anything you would love more than to do what you want and get away with it. Could her sex be that good that it would make you risk everything for a minute (or few hours) of pleasure only to end up regretting it every second after. I wish I could tell you, I've struggled with this problem too. The thing about it though I never did it and I'm happy for it. I love my Keda and that's all I'll even want.

My Rainbow "White Fence"

What's this "white picket fence" lifestyle everyone loves so much? Is it what true happiness really is? And what price does that "true" happiness come by? These questions go through my mind every minute of everyday. I see me having that same life but I guess not the normal "white fence". I want the children, the dogs, big house with the fence, but not all that with the problems a man brings. I love being with my girl, she brings out my true happiness. I know that we can't have a baby together...but hey science is a bitch now a days. We already live our lives for each other. We're both each other's rock when we need it most. Isn't that what a husband and wife does for one another? We even fight and get mad at each other like a real husband and wife. So what is the freaking problem? If I got to be unhappily married to a man to have my dream family, I'd rather behappy with a puppy and a goldfish in the smallest house in the world. I would rather be lonely without a single child than have a baby by a man I couldn't stand to be with. Kesha and I will do just fine with our two dogs, three kids, and our moderate size house surrounded by our own rainbow "whit fence"!!!...hey it beats being unhappy!!!

Driven By Love

Have you ever been driven by love but felt you had to hide it? Felt like if you brought it to light, everyone wouldn't show you the love you're so use to? The world is suppose to show you unconditional agape love but treat you as if were dirty in their eyes. You're forced to walk and talk with people you would rather see buried alive than to have anything to do with them. This is a world where life is hard for you if you're "different", and they worship you if you appear like them. You're stressed from living a lie, only to come home to your lover and see them suffering from you secret. You're forced to see them dying inside and it kills you not to show the world the true you. You are so torn between your love for her and the way the world wants to see you. Life is so difficult to live and the world makes it harder. It has no mercy on you or her. Why is it so hard for them to accept you are the person you are. You're in love and the world hates it. Finally your mind is made up. You refuse to loss the one you've waited for your entire life just because society doesn't like it. Your plans for this love will not be delayed. Your family, children, and just the life you've laid out for you two will not be stopped. They will never understand how you are drawn to person you're in love with and you could care least about it. Just go live you're life driven by love.

For My One True Love

You’re the light of my life.
You’re the joy in my soul.
Every moment with you is so meaningful.
You know we had our problems in the past.
But it never got in the way of our present,
nor our future.
You have loved me the best way you can.
You have been my rock for a long time,
And I thank you for that.
You’re the peace in me,
That brings me so much joy.
My love for you is everlasting.
My soul wants you every minute of the day.
You ask me why I love so much.
And you should know my answer.
I love you because of your kind and loving heart,
Your joy that lets me know you care,
The way you smile its makes me so happy,
And the way you hold me lets me know I am safe with you.
Baby, I wrote this poem for you,
To show you how I truly felt about you.
I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!

Not The Same

Have you ever felt like your the only one who understands how you feel? Where the world judges you on how you appear to them. If they see you living your own life, you're a monster. If you try to live the life they want you to, you begin to loss a part of who you really are. You try to appear as "normal" as possible, you're not as happy with yourself as everyone else is with you. How can you live the life you've laid out for yourself, when everyone want to make up your future for you? Its like if you're this way, you're weird and if you're hiding who you really are, you're fake. The world can't seem to realize that we all have different interest, dreams, desires, and wants in life. Not everyone can find what they want with who society deems "suitable" to them. The dreams some set for their own lives is much different from the ones of our so-called "prefect society". A society where one loves the other and not the same!

The reason I love Her

My love belongs to someone that is as sweet as a flower, and who soul is as beautiful as the morning sunrise. She has a heart that is big and so sincere it makes me happy to be hers. My love is the reason I work so hard to be a better person then I was before. She is my true motivation. She was the most beautiful eyes and a perfect smile. I enjoy every moment looking into those eyes of compassion and intensity. And speaking of intensity, that is what I would describe our love-making. She brings so much passionate and lustful thoughts out of me. I daydream about what we do often. I love what we do!!! She is my sunrise and sunset everyday. I dream of the moments I can be in her arms dreaming the night away without a care. She makes me feel safe and secure from any harmful thing. I have never been so taken by a person in all my life. She makes me want to be a good person. We have planned a life together that no one will break up. We love each other with our mind, body, and soul. I love her because of the person she has become for me, and herself. She was a different person when I first met her on Myspace (Thank you Tom!!!). She partied, drink, and just hung around the wrong people. I'm happy to say I was part of the reason for the change in her life. I love this girl with every fiber of my being. She makes me want to be the best I can be....and thats THE REASON I LOVE HER!!!